Cancer

Cancer. It's a scary thing to think about. My grandmother (Dad's mom) is starting chemo. They told her the dark spot on her lungs wasn't cancer before but she spent the weekend in the hospital getting something in her side removed as well as brain scans done. My great grandmother on my mom's side had breast cancer. My doctor tells me that my cervix needs to be frozen again, biopsied again after that...but I don't want to go. I'm scared to know. Cowardly? I know eventually I will go back, but there's just too much to deal with with all the stuff going on right now.

When I had to stay in the hospital when I had problems after Aiden, it got kind of bad sometimes. I don't want to go through that again. I wish I had someone who could just hold me and tell me that everything was going to be ok. Hell, even if they didn't say it just having someone to hold me would help. My friends are great, but they are all dealing with their own problems (I don't have a great opinion of most "Men" at the moment). Going to go take a hot shower now...