Today has been an interesting day. Over and over I have been reminded of past, present, and possible relationships (as in any relationship not just romantic) and frankly I feel quite alone. I have friends, sure...good friends at that. But I am still alone when I go to sleep and when I wake. I remember good times even though I do not wish to return to past relationships. I wish that things could be different because it seems as if everyone I find myself caring for is unavailable one way or another. Should I throw up my hands and give in to lonliness for awhile? As much as I would like to say I am whole, I do have wounds and the state I am in is as salt water lapping at those open hurts. Trust...I trust both easily and not. I will trust you up until the moment that I cannot...and then never again.
I guess I am driven to desperation, and find myself in a place I do not wish to be. I am tired. Soul sick. Sad.
I am lonely.
